Hey kids, guess what? It’s time for another fantasy contest! Only this one is slightly different from all the others that have gone before.
Whereas all the previous contests only featured songs that have NEVER been Eurovision entries, this one ONLY consists of previous Eurovision entries.
Not quite following? Well, to elaborate, it will see entries from years gone by, competing for their countries of birth or heritage, who are NOT regular Eurovision participants.
Still not following? Well, to elaborate further, the main rule that is unique to this contest, is that all participating nations can NOT have entered the contest previously. Even if that was only once some forty years ago. Which means, I know what you’re thinking – yes, unfortunately that rules Morocco out of contention, who almost certainly would have won with Loreen’s international dancefloor smash “Euphoria”. Cue loud cheers from all the other participants.
I also need to state that it is NOT for non-European countries only. Which means Australia WOULD be able to participate, had they not been Eurovision regulars for the last eight years. By the same token, Kosovo will be entering as they have not entered Eurovision before. In short, location is irrelevant. And please don’t try and suck me into the whole “yes but Israel/Azerbaijan yadda yadda yadda” debate, as I really don’t have the time, nor the patience.
As the whole world is able to enter, but only 43 countries will be, I have decided to include a non-participant vote, for the 150+ countries that will be watching as neutrals. Those of you who read and remember an old article of mine about Inclusivision (for independent states that are not officially countries and can’t enter in the main contest), may remember how this works. If not, see below.
With a mixture of online voting (via the app/website) and televoting, the votes from non-participating countries (all from the public, no juries), are tabulated into one set of votes. Entries will receive 10 points for each country they finish above; so the country with the lowest number of votes will gain 10 points, the second lowest will gain 20 points, and so on until the non-participant winner is announced, who will gain the maximum 260 points. At this point, we will have a new leaderboard, and add the televotes accordingly; 2019-2025 style.
Before I start, I should take a moment to acknowledge the 2025 alumni who would’ve been involved, but for the fact that I started working on this contest before this year’s event in Basel. Firstly, Louane – who would surely have been Brazil’s representative as she qualifies through her Grandma. Eventual winner JJ could have represented either the Philippines – due to his ancestral heritage – or the United Arab Emirates (UAE), as he spent much of his childhood there.
Tommy Cash may be Italian by nature, but his family ties span many of the former Soviet states; including Kazakhstan – who otherwise do not have any contestants. And finally, Claude could have entered into DRC/Zaire’s National Final – though it seems unlikely he’d have overturned 1977 champion Marie Myriam; especially if his performance was as disappointing as it was in Basel.
Anyway, without further ado, here is a list of participating countries and their contestants:
ALGERIA – Slimane: “Mon Amour” (FRANCE 2024)
Slimane’s beautiful song and vocals made him a firm favourite in 2024; beaten only by Nemo in the jury vote, and finishing a point above them in the televote. In Algeria’s National Final, it was an undisputed winner, with Sissel from Denmark (2006) unable to twist it in any way to suit her cause (sorry, that was truly terrible). Again, will be an undoubted jury success, but may find points harder to come by with the public. Although being one of the contest’s more recent hits may give it a competitive edge.
ANGOLA – Armando Gama: “Esta Balada que te Dou” (PORTUGAL 1983)
The 1983 contestant came up against Angolan-Portuguese compatriot Eduardo Nascimento from 16 years prior in a National Final, which also featured Benny Cristo from the Czech Republic – favouring his 2021 entry “Omaga” over his effort from a year earlier (yes, we got the play-on-words too – Oh My God – but like yourselves, we just didn’t find it particularly funny). A pretty but forgettable mid-tempo plodder, it’s unlikely to make the final. Although Benny still may get to perform the song himself, with Armando leaving us in 2022.
ARUBA – Tanel Padar & Dave Benton ft. 2XL: “Everybody” (ESTONIA 2001)
Making history along with native singer Tanel Padar in 2001 – first former Soviet title, first of eight successive debut winners, and first black person to win the contest – “Everybody” is widely regarded by fans (though not literally everybody, hehe) to be one of the more forgettable winners in an even more forgettable year. This may hold it back, although the bouncy, sing-along melody very much reminiscent of “Celebration” by Kool & the Gang will still ensure it picks up a steady haul of points. Internally selected.
BRAZIL – Laura Rizotto: “Funny Girl” (LATVIA 2018)
Producing artists of both Burkinabe (see below) and Brazilian ancestry is not bad going for the Baltic nation of less than 2 million people. Perhaps even more noteworthy is that Laura Rizotto is the only candidate able to represent the planet’s fifth largest nation (aside from Louane, who I mentioned earlier). Despite an outstanding red dress, she failed to make the final in 2018 and such disappointment appears to be on the cards once more. Internally selected.
BURKINA FASO – Aminata: “Love Injected” (LATVIA 2015)
The link between Burkina Faso and Latvia does not seem an obvious one, but Aminata Savadogo produced a stellar performance on the night to gain second place with the juries (under the previous, single vote system) and sixth-place overall in her adopted homeland’s first final in 7 years. Once again, it will be the juries that reward her most highly in what could prove an equally surprising result. Internally selected.
CANADA – Celine Dion: “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi” (SWITZERLAND 1988)
Her name needs no introduction – having sold over 200 million records across the globe since finishing only one point ahead of the real winner, Scott Fitzgerald, in 1988 – although many part-time Eurovision fans are often surprised when they learn that she actually represented Switzerland, and not France. In what could well be a two-horse race between her and Katrina, her fanbase which vastly exceeds that of any other performer in this contest, may not be enough to take home the trophy. But then again, it may well be. Despite her celebrity status, she got no special treatment when it came to qualifying. Infact, she had to get past 6 former Eurovision contestants in their National Final – namely Annie Cotton and Rykka (who also entered for Switzerland), Lara and Sherisse (both of whom entered for Luxembourg in the 80’s), Natasha St. Pier (France, 2001) and Katerine Duska (Greece, 2019). Nevertheless, despite having to overcome so many formidable opponents, she came through with a sizeable majority. Much less certain is if Celine will be able to perform – currently battling Stiff Person Syndrome, she struggles to move at times and has had to cancel tours as a result.
CAPE VERDE – Sara Tavares: “Chamar e Musica” (PORTUGAL 1994)
Both of the contest’s Cape Verdean singers came in successive years, in the mid-90’s. Sara Tavares with the pleasing ballad “Chamar e Musica” (“I’ll Call the Music” in English), closely followed by To Cruz a year later with “Vanilla and Chocolate”. The two went head-to-head in the islands’ National Final and the former came out on top. Clearly they prefer strawberry ice-cream in that part of West Africa. Indeed, audiences might consider their winning entry to be a bit ‘vanilla’, with most of its points likely to come from the juries.
CHILE – Intelligent Music Project: “Intention” (BULGARIA 2022)
Singer Ronnie Romero was born in the capital Santiago, where he stayed until he was in his late 20’s. One of the many rock bands to have emerged in 2022 thanks largely to Maneskin’s surprise victory, of a Dad-rock genre and in the style of Van Halen and Iron Maiden, it finished second from bottom in their semi-final in Turin and, despite a killer guitar riff in the middle-eight, a similar fate should await in this contest. Internally selected.
COLOMBIA – Stig van Eijk: “Living My Life Without You” (NORWAY 1999)
Representing Norway despite having a distinctly Dutch sounding name, he represents his South American birth nation with his song that very much shared the hallmarks of popular boy bands at the time including N’Sync and the Backstreet Boys. Now a somewhat outdated sound, it only got him as far as mid-table then, and would probably do well even to get to the final now. Internally selected.
CUBA – Chanel: “Slo-Mo” (SPAIN 2022)
After helping her country achieve a bronze clean sweep in 2022 – a major improvement on their mere 6 points the previous year – some believe she would have gained them their first victory in more than 50 years, were it not for a certain dictator. Nonetheless, though gaining a similar number of points from both juries and televoters (much to Graham Norton’s surprise), it seems likely this time round that she’ll be relying mostly on the public for her points. Born in Havana but moving to Catalunya at 3 years old, she was internally selected.
CURACAO – Edsilia Rombley: “Hemel en Aarde” (NETHERLANDS 1998)
Terry Wogan described this song as “too good for Eurovision” – and whilst that may be a slight exaggeration, there’s no doubt Edsilia is a multi-talented woman – a look and voice comparable to Heather Small of 90’s legends, M People. She doesn’t do a tribute act (that we’re aware of), but she probably should. Co-presenting the contest in 2021, she entered a second time in 2007 with “On Top of the World”. Showcasing both songs in an online only vote for local islanders, the former Dutch colony – known until its independence as the Netherlands Antilles – convincingly and unsurprisingly, voted for her 1998 entry, which finished fourth in Birmingham. Such position is unlikely to be repeated, but a place in the final looks a near certainty.
EGYPT – Mahmood: “Soldi” (ITALY 2019)
Second only to Duncan in 2019 and then sixth with Bianco three years later, he may well believe a Eurovision victory is coming his way one year soon. In this contest, it could come even sooner. The chorus – translating into English as “you only cared about the money, money” – with more than an element of Jessie J about it, along with the double clap immediately after – ranks as one of the most iconic moments for audience participation in the contest’s recent history. Internally selected.
ETHIOPIA – Eden Alene: “Set Me Free” (ISRAEL 2021)
With the Ethiopian public asked to vote on the two songs – and the winner progressing to a Final up against Saba’s “Sand”, it was her 2021 entry which proved victorious, and then again in the Final. The main question on most people’s lips is whether she’ll be able to pull off that note once again – past experience suggests she should have few problems, but that alone may not be enough to pull her through to the Final.
ERITREA – Senhit ft. Flo Rida: “Adrenalina” (SAN MARINO 2021)
Showcasing all three of her entries in a one-person National Final, Senhit swapped one of Europe’s smallest nations for one of Africa’s. Never in much doubt that it would win, but what’s much less certain is whether Flo Rida will join her on stage once again. As his home nation are entering this contest, it may be seen by some as a conflict of interest.
FAROE ISLANDS – Sissal: “Hallucination” (DENMARK 2025)
If you’re wondering why there’s one rule for Sissal and another for the remaining 2025 alumni – whom I mentioned earlier – it’s because I had already confirmed the Faroe Islands’ involvement; they were originally going to be represented by Reiley, but as Sissal’s relatively underwhelming result in Basel meant she wouldn’t have made the final, the scores would not have to be amended, and therefore her inclusion was logistically possible. In a two-way, week-long online vote between Denmark’s two Faroese entrants (both in the last three years, incidentally – you know what they say about performers from the Faroe Islands being like buses?), Sissal emerged victorious over Reiley by a landslide – with nearly 82% of the vote. She’ll have to hope the public are slightly more generous to her than they were on that fateful Saturday in Basel.
GRENADA – Andy Abraham: “Even if” (UNITED KINGDOM 2008)
One of three countries to finish in last place with just 14 points in the 2008 final, 2005 x-factor runner-up Andy Abraham is a North London boy with Caribbean heritage. “Even If” was a likeable pop/soul/dance song, but failed to excite the Eurovision audiences, which sadly is most likely to be the case once again. Internally selected.
GUADELOUPE – Joelle Ursull: “White and Black Blues” (FRANCE 1990)
A bouncy, waltz-tempo, sing-along chorus with a delectable Caribbean flavour – explained in no small part by the fact that Guadeloupe is a French department, despite being over 4,000 miles away. Her lyrics alluding to her mixed-race heritage – a sentiment which could serve her well at a time when it finds itself as a key societal issue once again. As, indeed, could the backing group of Gentlemen banging the drums – mastering the art of effective Eurovision staging way before its time. Landing herself in second place in 1990 – some fans may argue it would have made a more worthy winner than Toto (RIP). Plus, it would have meant, well, no Toto the following year. Internally selected.
GUATEMALA – Soluna Samay: “Should’ve Known Better” (DENMARK 2012)
Finishing fourth from bottom in the final for Denmark the year before Emmelie de Forest’s victory, it was a pleasing ballad, yet notably bland. Qualifying twice for the final with this song seems a tall order. Internally selected.
GUYANA – Sandjha: “Sing it Away” (FINLAND 2016)
Sandjha has both Guyanese and Indian blood but opted for the former. Predictable, instantly forgettable and atrociously performed on the night, it’s little wonder why this poor attempt at a retro disco anthem failed to make the final, and it’d be even more surprising if she made it this time. Internally selected.
INDIA – Sir Cliff Richard: “Congratulations” (UNITED KINGDOM 1968)
A character whom some love to hate (they should probably be made aware that envy is actually one of the seven deadly sins), the fact that he was actually born in Lucknow will come as a surprise to any of the above, and to many who aren’t a fan of the singer. Real name Harry Webb, it seems Eurovision’s greatest irony that a song entitled “Congratulations” should finish second – especially by one point to a song with one word repeated seventeen times in the chorus (that’s if ‘la’ constitutes even that). Up against Celine and Katrina, he could see another narrow miss, with the juries likely to be far more generous. Winner of a two-way National Final against fellow Indian-born British crooner, Engelbert Humperdinck.
INDONESIA – Sandra & Andres: “Als Het Om de Liefte Gaat” (NETHERLANDS 1972)
Emerging victorious in a National Final against fellow Indo-Dutch lady Anneke Gronloh, France’s 2012 contestant Anggun, and Jessica Mauboy – guest of honour in 2014 and then a competitor four years later – their entry finished fourth in 1972, but 50 years later, another top 5 finish appears to be a big ask. With Sandra losing her battle with breast cancer in June 2017 – and Andres leaving us during the first COVID lockdown in April 2020 – Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper will perform in Sandra & Andres’ absence – perhaps a surprise choice given how their result and performance bombed in Liverpool. Were 2 Unlimited otherwise engaged?
IRAN – Aysel & Arash: “Always” (AZERBAIJAN 2009)
Third Place for neighbouring Azerbaijan in 2009 – Arash Labaf – who spent his formative years in Tehran but moved with his family to Sweden when he was 10 – joined Aysel Teymurzadeh for this duet. Could well achieve a similarly strong result in this contest. They defeated last-placed 2012 contestant Tooji in their National Final.
JAMAICA – Jade Ewen: “It’s My Time” (UNITED KINGDOM 2009)
Like a footballer who made a name for him-/her-self at a European Championship, Jade Ewen earned herself a lucrative move to the Sugababes as a result of her fifth place in the 2009 Final. Her Disney-esque ballad was pre-chosen by the BBC, but she had to see off two other contenders in a live final after weeks of auditioning, to find the best singer. Another song likely to do much better with the juries, she won in a National Final which saw off competition from Risky Kidd – who competed along with Freaky Fortune in 2014 for Greece.
KENYA – Stella Mwangi: “Haba Haba” (NORWAY 2011)
An unmemorable Afro-pop track which failed to make the final in 2011 – finishing third from bottom in her semi-final, it was something of a comedown from a nation that won the contest only 2 years earlier. A second failure seems inevitable, but her Grandma will be proud at least. Internally selected.
KOSOVO – Gjon’s Tears: “Tout l’Univers” (SWITZERLAND 2021)
Seasoned Eurovision fans will tell you it’s only a matter of time (we hope) before we see them in the contest on an annual basis. Gjon Muharremaj – better known among Eurovision audiences as Gjon’s Tears – was lined up for the 2020 contest where he’d have likely had similar success, but returned a year later with the even stronger ‘Tout l’Univers’. Jury vote winner in 2021, he suffered the same fate as Sam Ryder the following year, when he found the televoters to be receptive, but not quite as generous. Saw off competition from Rona Nishliu in their National Final, with recent contestants – including the Kelmendi clan and Besa – also providing a high standard.
KYRGYZSTAN – Jamala: “1944” (UKRAINE 2016)
The Ukrainian champion of 2016 – she was born in Osh, Kyrgyzstan’s second city. Likely to be rewarded very highly – for somewhat obvious reasons – by televoters and the non-participant votes, but the juries may hold it back. Internally selected.
LEBANON – Eric Saade: “Popular” (SWEDEN 2011)
The bookies’ favourite in 2011 – but finishing third overall (under the old system), losing out to surprise winners Ell and Nikki from Azerbaijan, Eric’s father is Lebanese, but of Palestinian origin. A Euro-pop-schlager banger – always a popular choice within Eurovision circles and similarly themed club events, it will no doubt score well with both juries and televoters, but perhaps not enough to right the wrongs of Dusseldorf. Internally selected.
MADAGASCAR – Ben & Tan: “Say Yes” (DENMARK 2020)
Sadly, Ben and Tan did not get to perform this entry as the 2020 contest was cancelled. With shades of Harry Styles and Taylor Swift, it seems likely to have been a finalist, even if not a winner. Judging by the various contests created by hardcore fans, most of which saw it as a lower mid-table finish, a similar kind of result seems the most likely outcome. Internally selected, with the male half, full-name Benjamin Rosenbohm, although born in Berlin but moving to Denmark at a young age, qualifying due to his father.
MALAYSIA – Guy Sebastian: “Tonight Again” (AUSTRALIA 2015)
Hardly a Malaysian sounding name, but qualifies nonetheless due to being born in Klang, in the state of Selangor. He could just as easily have turned out for Sri Lanka or India – and for Portugal or the UK in the main contest – due to his bizarre cocktail of multi-national heritage. Australia’s debut competitor in 2015, their appearance raised many eyebrows, and many people’s disapproval – particularly as they were given a free pass to the final, but his likeable pop song helped them to a fifth-place finish, and also helped to win some of his critics over. No free passes here, but he’s likely to qualify in any case. Internally selected.
MOZAMBIQUE – Antonio Calvario: “Oracao” (PORTUGAL 1964)
The only nul-pointer of this contest – and the first of his country’s two zeroes – Portugal’s debut entry way back in 1964 provided little in the way of encouragement for the future. Although there were three other songs tied at the bottom, and it’s worth mentioning that the stigma wasn’t as great back then, with points much less easily available than today. He’ll hope to gain some points this time, albeit he won’t be expecting a great many, even if fans of Salvador Sobral may grant it some amnesty. Internally selected.
NIGERIA – Destiny: “Not My Soul” (MALTA JESC 2015)
Her father being Nigerian footballer Ndubisi Chukunyere, she’s already eclipsed her father’s success – representing Malta twice in various Eurovision contests, whereas he only represented Nigeria once at international level. Not forgetting his illustrious career with Kano Wanderers, Valletta and Hibernians (not the Scottish team). The only entry to have competed in the Junior Contest – the most recent of their two winners from 2015 – she held an online vote for fans to choose between their favourite of her three adult/junior Eurovision entries, before coming up against Tvorchi in a separate online vote.
PERU – Tali: “Fighter” (LUXEMBOURG 2024)
With a Peruvian father and an Israeli mother, she also moved around South America as a child, before eventually settling in Luxembourg. It’s been an eventful journey so far for Tali, and this latest stop will see her perform 2024 entry “Fighter”. Another song that scored highly with the juries but was largely ignored by the public – it was wonderful to see her nation return a year ago after over 30 years, but unlike in Stockholm, she may not find herself in another Grand Final.
PHILLIPINES – Sheldon Riley: “Not the Same” (AUSTRALIA 2022)
The contest’s only Autistic contestant (as far as we’re aware), Sheldon will win many hearts for his “masked singer” performance (a trick he repeated on the Masked Singer in Australia only a few months later – like there was really any doubt it was him). The majority of his points, seem likely, once again, to come from the juries – with possible lack of televote support a threat to his chances of making the Final. Beat off competition from Vincent Bueno – Austrian contestant in 2020/01 – in their National Final.
SAINT LUCIA – Cesar Sampson: “Nobody but You” (AUSTRIA 2018)
Jury vote winner in 2018 with this song, a comparatively disappointing 13th place finish with the televoters saw the song’s eventual demise. His name being noticeably non-German sounding, he hails from the Caribbean holiday island of St. Lucia. Such heights in this contest seem unlikely to be repeated, as in a much stronger field, it would be considered one of the blander offerings. Internally selected.
SAO TOME & PRINCIPE – Simone de Oliveira: “Desfolhada Portuguesa” (PORTUGAL 1969)
With a father from Belgium and a mother of Sao heritage (the small West African islands were a Portuguese territory at the time), she competed twice for Portugal in the 60’s – amassing a grand total of five points in her two efforts. Her second – a protest song against her country’s ruling dictatorship, was the marginally more successful of the two – well-received in her homeland, but largely unnoticed by the wider continent. Still an improvement on her attempt four years prior – which gained only one solitary point. Unfortunately, it doesn’t look as if her points tally will improve a great deal here. Internally selected.
SOUTH KOREA – Dami Im: “Sound of Silence” (AUSTRALIA 2016)
Jury vote winner in 2016, she was let down by the televoters who are not quite as welcoming of Australia in the contest – though still placing her a respectable fourth. Her ballad, despite the impeccable vocals with phenomenal range matched by few others in the contest’s history, was always more likely to be rewarded by the juries, and a similar story should be likely here. Internally selected.
SURINAME – Ruth Jacott: “Vrede” (NETHERLANDS 1993)
The former Dutch colony has produced many famous people – 90’s/00’s Netherlands international footballers Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink and Edgar Davids among the most notable examples. To this day, however, her and Jeangru (on home soil in 2021, and would have been in 2020) remain their only Eurovision representatives; so the pair went head-to-head in a live Final, with his original entry “Grow” having progressed from an earlier online only vote. From the Lisa Stansfield school of songwriting, her classy, modern song finished sixth on the night, and may well have won if she were able to sing in English. Or if she was Irish, as was the form in the 90’s. Dutch being one of the lesser spoken (and even lesser understood) languages across the world, though the final appears well within reach, a victory does not.
TAHITI – Jean Gabilou: “Humanahum” (FRANCE 1981)
An overseas colony on the other side of the world, Tahiti is the largest and principal island of the French Polynesian Island group. Finishing behind only Johnny Blue and Bucks Fizz in 1981 – with his peculiar song about an old man describing to a group of children about how war had destroyed the earth. Hardly inaccurate, although the sentiment was perhaps lost on many due to not being sung in English (the free language rule was abolished between 1975-1998). Should rely primarily on the juries for most of its points. Internally selected.
THAILAND – Chanee & Evergreen: “In a Moment Like This” (DENMARK 2010)
Denmark finished fourth with this entry – with all the his ‘n’ hers remnants of Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You, Babe” and Starship’s “Nothing’s Gonna Stop us Now” – in 2010. Chanee, the female half, has Thai heritage. A similarly high finish in this contest would be a major achievement, but a place in the Final is certainly a possibility.
TUNISIA – Amina: “C’est le Dernier Qui a Parle Qui a Raison” (FRANCE 1991)
Finishing second thanks only to an inferior number of ten points’ (they both scored douze four times) in 1991 to Sweden’s Carola, Amina came through a tough National Final which included fellow French singer Amir Haddad (sixth in 2016). Delightfully – often mesmerisingly – fusing her heritages with quintessentially French ballad vibes and North African overtones galore, it’s a certain hit with the juries, but the televoters may not be quite so generous. Incidentally, with music written by Wasis Diop – Senegal could also lay claim to this entry.
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – Katrina & the Waves: “Love Shine a Light” (UNITED KINGDOM 1997)
A month-long, MelFest style National Final was used to find the American entrant; which included Jimmie Wilson, appearing with Valentina, the Rounder Girls – the Austrian girl-group who entered in 2000 – qualifying through one of their members, Kim Cooper; a New Yorker, and Dori Ghessi – performing Italy’s entry from 1975 by herself; Wesley Johnson no longer being with us. Little surprise, if we’re honest, that Katrina – the overwhelming bookies’ favourite – was chosen. The Texan native, singing alongside her new session band – under the clever guise “Katrina OF the Waves” – she parted ways with song-writer Kimberley Rew and the others only a couple of years after their victory (no, Eurovision is NOT the kiss of death, thankyou very much). Will certainly be among the favourites, even if overcoming Celine may be too much to ask.
URUGUAY – Los TNT: “Caracola” (ITALY 1964)
The Croatto family were born in Udine but spent most of their lives in the South American state. Their popularity was far greater in the Latin America than in Europe, which showed in their somewhat disappointing result in Copenhagen, and should do likewise once again. Internally selected, and the video from their original Eurovision performance will be used.
ZAIRE/DRC – Marie Myriam: “L’Oiseau et L’Enfant” (FRANCE 1977)
Born in Lulabourg in 1957 – now known as Kananga, in a country that was then known as the Belgian Congo – she was France’s last Eurovision champion (nearly 50 years ago now, would you believe?!). The country she’s representing appears to change its name more times than Albania change their song every year. Previously known as Zaire, it changed its name to the Democratic Republic of Congo (I know, changing your name to match that of one of your neighbours makes about as much sense as Scotland changing its name the Democratic Republic of England), so for this article, to avoid confusion, I’m going to refer to them as Zaire/DRC (the other, original Congo do not have an entry). She saw off stiff competition from Jessy Matador, Jeremie Makiese and recent Dutch entrant Claude in their National Final. Likely to progress to the Final, but will come unstuck when the public vote comes in.
The venue will be the La Défense Arena in Paris. With France obviously not entering themselves, perhaps it’s a strange decision to host the contest in a neutral venue, although being relatively central to the world’s various time-zones – and accessible for many Eurovision fans – it makes some sense at least. Plus, with a maximum capacity of around 45,000 for concerts, ticket availability will at least not be an issue.
The French will also provide the hosts – Barbara Pravi, having gone close for her country as a performer in 2021 and co-writing her country’s Junior Contest winning entry only months prior – she turned down the opportunity to compete for Iran and Tunisia (qualifying for both due to her diverse family heritage). Joining her will be popular domestic host Cyril Feraud – with a string of credits, including the French version of Art Attack, and several domestic gameshows – he also has previous Eurovision credentials as he co-commentated for his country at the contest for three years in the early-2010’s.
As for the dates? Well, it’s fictional and non-year specific, so I’ll let you decide for yourself. I’m generous like that.
Here’s how they will be lining up for the first semi-final:
- INDONESIA – Sandra & Andres: “Als Het Om de Liefte Gaat”
- SAO TOME & PRINCIPE – Simone de Olivera: “Desfolhada Portuguesa”
- SOUTH KOREA – Dami Im: “Sound of Silence”
- SAINT LUCIA – Cesar Sampson: “Nobody but You”
- CUBA – Chanel: “Slo-Mo”
- ERITREA – Senhit & Flo Rida: “Adrenalina”
- PHILIPPINES – Sheldon Riley: “Not the Same”
- GUADELOUPE – Joelle Ursull: “White and Black Blues”
- LEBANON – Eric Saade: “Popular”
- MADAGASCAR – Ben & Tan: “Say Yes”
- BRAZIL – Laura Rizotto: “Funny Girl”
- KOSOVO – Gjon’s Tears: “Tout l’Univers”
- NIGERIA – Destiny: “Not My Soul”
- GUATEMALA – Soluna Samay: “Should’ve Known Better”
- TAHITI – Jean Gabilou: “Humanahum”
- ARUBA – Tanel & Dave ft. 2XL: “Everybody”
- EGYPT – Mahmood: “Soldi”
- CANADA – Celine Dion: “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”
- URUGUAY – Los TNT: “Caracola”
- GUYANA – Sandjha: “Sing it Away”
- KYRGYZSTAN – Jamala: “1944”
Mia & Dion opened the show, and perhaps curiously, did a much better job of representing Indonesia than their own country. Simone, now in her late-80’s, gave a stellar effort in replicating her 1969 performance, and Flo Rida made his cameo appearance on stage with Senhit once again.
The first country going through to Saturday’s Grand Final is… Guatemala!
The next country going through to the final is… Egypt!
The next country going through to the final is… Cuba!
The next country going through to the final is… Kyrgyzstan!
The next country going through to the final is… Lebanon!
The next country going through to the final is… Aruba!
The next country going through to the final is… Sao Tome and Principe!
The next country going through to the final is… South Korea!
The next country going through to the final is… Indonesia!
The next country going through to the final is… Saint Lucia!
The next country going through to the final is… Canada!
The next country going through to the final is… Tahiti!
And the final country going through to the final is…
… Nigeria!
Which means, unfortunately, we have to say Goodbye to… Brazil, Eritrea, Guatemala, Guyana, Madagascar, Philippines, Sao Tome & Principe and Uruguay.
Here’s how they will be lining up for the second semi-final:
- ANGOLA – Armando Gama: “Esta Balada que te Dou”
- BURKINA FASO – Aminata: “Love Injected”
- CURACAO – Edsilia Rombley: “Hemel en Aarde”
- TUNISIA – Amina: “C’est Le Dernien Qui a Parle Qui a Raison”
- IRAN – Aysel & Arash: “Always”
- COLOMBIA – Stig van Eijk: “Living My Life Without You”
- GRENADA – Andy Abraham: “Even if”
- SURINAME – Ruth Jacott: “Vrede”
- USA – Katrina & the Waves: “Love Shine a Light”
- MALAYSIA – Guy Sebastian: “Tonight Again”
- JAMAICA – Jade Ewen: “It’s My Time”
- ZAIRE/DRC – Marie Myriam: “L’oiseau et L’enfant”
- THAILAND – Chanee & Evergreen: “In a Moment Like This”
- ETHIOPIA – Eden Alene: “Set Me Free”
- CAPE VERDE – Sara Tavares: “Chamar e Musica”
- ALGERIA – Slimane: “Mon Amour”
- CHILE – Intelligent Music Project: “Intention”
- KENYA – Stella Mwangi: “Haba Haba”
- PERU – Tali: “Fighter”
- FAROE ISLANDS – Sissal: “Hallucination”
- INDIA – Sir Cliff Richard: “Congratulations”
- MOZAMBIQUE – Antonio Calvaro: “Oracao”
Benny Cristo – filling in for the departed Armando – opened the show, and did his country-man proud with a modernised version of what was a very different type of entry to his 2020/21 efforts. Eden hit the high note perfectly once again, and proceedings were brought to a close with thunderous applause for Antonio Calvaro who, like his Portuguese compatriot of the same age also proved two days ago, age is no barrier when representing your country.
The first country going through to Saturday’s Grand Final is… Burkina Faso!
The next country going through to the final is… Suriname!
The next country going through to the final is… Jamaica!
The next country going through to the final is… India!
The next country going through to the final is… Iran!
The next country going through to the final is… Tunisia!
The next country going through to the final is… Cape Verde!
The next country going through to the final is… Thailand!
The next country going through to the final is… Curacao!
The next country going through to the final is… USA!
The next country going through to the final is… Algeria!
The next country going through to the final is… Zaire/DRC!
And the final country going through to the final is…
… Malaysia!
Which means, unfortunately, we have to say Goodbye to… Angola, Chile, Colombia, Ethiopia, Faroe Islands, Grenada, Kenya, Mozambique and Peru.
My predictions for the Final? Simply put, Canada have to be overwhelming favourites, due to Celine’s fanbase. This being said, Sir Cliff – desperate to right the wrong of 1968 – may have something to say about that. Mahmood and Slimane will also score steadily with both juries and televoters. Bringing up the rear could be a number of contenders; including Chanee & Evergreen, Jean Gabilou, Marie Myriam, Sandra & Andres, Sara Tavares, or Tanel & Dave.
If the artists were unknown and all the songs were previously unreleased, “Love Shine a Light” would probably be the favourite – “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi” isn’t remembered in the same way as “Waterloo” – despite being the springboard to her future success.
Here’s how they will be lining up for the Grand Final:
1. ST. LUCIA – Cesar Sampson: “Nobody but You”
2. LEBANON – Eric Saade: “Popular”
3. CAPE VERDE – Sara Tavares: “Chamar e Musica”
4. CUBA – Chanel: “Slo-Mo”
5. TUNISIA – Amina: “Le Dernien Qui a Parle”
6. KOSOVO – Gjon’s Tears: “Tout l’Univers”
7. CANADA – Celine Dion: “Ne Partez Pas Sans Moi”
8. IRAN – Aysel & Arash: “Always”
9. MALAYSIA – Guy Sebastian: “Tonight Again
10. TAHITI – Jean Gabilou: “Humanahum”
11. SOUTH KOREA – Dami Im: “Sound of Silence”
12. GUADELOUPE – Joelle Ursull: “White & Black Blues”
13. BURKINA FASO – Aminata: “Love Injected”
14. INDIA – Sir Cliff Richard: “Congratulations”
15. CURACAO – Edsilia Rombley: “Hemel en Aarde”
16. SURINAME – Ruth Jacott: “Vrede”
17. KYRGYZSTAN – Jamala: “1944”
18. EGYPT – Mahmood: “Soldi”
19. ARUBA – Tanel & Dave: “Everybody”
20. NIGERIA – Destiny: “Not My Soul”
21. JAMAICA – Jade Ewen: “It’s My Time”
22. USA – Katrina & the Waves: “Love Shine a Light”
23. ALGERIA – Slimane: “Mon Amour”
24. INDONESIA – Sandra & Andres: “Als Het Om de Liefte Gaat”
25. DRC/ZAIRE – Marie Myriam: “L’Oiseau et L’Enfant”
26. THAILAND – Chanee & Evergreen: “In a Moment Like This”
There was not a dry eye in the house for Celine Dion’s appearance – sitting in a chair on stage, her movement may have been affected but her vocals certainly haven’t – and neither was there when Jamala sung her heart out for the people of her beleaguered home country (despite representing a different one in this contest). Mahmood got the audience clapping along, and Katrina kept them on their feet with a typically rousing front-woman display.
The jury votes have been confirmed and validated, we’re good to… oh, wait, best not.
7 rounds in, Algeria have a 15-point lead. And with Tunisia hot on their heels, it’s a North African flavour at the top of the tree.
After 13 rounds, Cape Verde score their first points; ensuring every country has scored points from the participants’ juries.
A third of the way through the votes, Algeria now have a 26-point lead.
After 18 rounds, Algeria become the first country to cross the 100-point barrier.
At the halfway stage – 22 rounds – Algeria’s lead is cut to 17 points.
With two thirds of all countries giving their jury points, Algeria’s lead is now down to six points.
With only Thailand left to announce their jury points, Algeria lead by five points – Canada in second and India only a point behind in third. India get five, going level with Algeria, but with Canada not among the scorers as yet, an anxious wait between the two (for what is essentially a redundant title of jury vote winner).
Algeria, failing to score, are pipped at the post! Having led since early on, they are overtaken at the death!
Here’s how the juries finished:
1. Canada (196)
2. Algeria (188)*
3. India (188)*
4. USA (169)
5. Tunisia (161)
6. Burkina Faso (141)
7. Kosovo (130)
8. St. Lucia (122)
9. Jamaica (121)
10. Egypt (113)
11. Suriname (103)
12. Nigeria (102)
13. Guadeloupe (97)
14. Lebanon (84)
15. Malaysia (83)
16. Curacao (80)
17. South Korea (76)
18. Zaire (75)
19. Cape Verde (55)
20. Kyrgyzstan (49)*
21. Indonesia (49)*
22. Tahiti (28)
23. Cuba (27)
24. Thailand (26)
25. Iran (16)
26. Aruba (15)
*Algeria finish ahead of India, as they scored douze points twice whereas, perhaps surprisingly, Sir Cliff didn’t get any.
*Kyrgyzstan finish ahead of Indonesia, as they scored a 12 and a 10 – Sandra & Andres did not score higher than 8 points.
Next comes the non-participant vote (all the countries that are not entering in this contest; the exact number is unclear, but will be at least 150).
In 26th place, with 10 points… Zaire/DRC.
In 25th place, with 20 points… Jamaica.
In 24th place, with 30 points… Indonesia.
In 23rd place, with 40 points… Thailand.
In 22nd place, with 50 points… Guadeloupe.
In 21st place, with 60 points… Saint Lucia.
In 20th place, with 70 points… Cuba.
In 19th place, with 80 points… Kosovo. They go top.
In 18th place, with 90 points… Tahiti.
In 17th place, with 100 points…
…USA!
A disbelieving gasp rings around the arena, as it means Katrina’s likelihood of another victory is now slim to say the least.
In 16th place, with 110 points… Aruba.
In 15th place, with 120 points… Suriname.
In 14th place, with 130 points… Curacao.
In 13th place, with 140 points… Nigeria.
In 12th place, with 150 points… Burkina Faso. They are now top.
In 11th place, with 160 points… Cape Verde.
Moving into the top ten now.
In 10th place, with 170 points… Lebanon.
In 9th place, with 180 points… South Korea.
In 8th place, with 190 points… Kyrgyzstan.
In 7th place, with 200 points… Egypt. That puts them top.
In 6th place, with 210 points… India. The lead changes hand once again.
Meaning Sir Cliff is now unlikely to win.
Moving into the top five now.
In fifth place, with 220 points… Malaysia!
In fourth place, with 230 points… Tunisia! Only enough to go second.
In third place, with 240 points… Algeria! They’ll go into the televote in second.
In second place, with 250 points… Iran! They shoot up the table and into the top ten – Michal Szpak style.
Which means, the winner of the non-participant vote, with 260 points… CANADA!!!
Having won both votes so far, Celine Dion is now the overwhelming favourite to win.
Here’s how things stand, now that the juries and non-participants have voted:
1. Canada (456)
2. Algeria (428)
3. India (398)
4. Tunisia (391)
5. Egypt (313)
6. Malaysia (303)
7. Burkina Faso (291)
8. USA (269)
9. Iran (266)
10. South Korea (256)
11. Lebanon (254)
12. Nigeria (242)
13. Kyrgyzstan (239)
14. Suriname (223)
15. Cape Verde (215)
16. Kosovo (210)*
17. Curacao (210)*
18. Saint Lucia (182)
19. Guadeloupe (147)
20. Jamaica (141)
21. Aruba (125)
22. Tahiti (118)
23. Cuba (97)
24. Zaire/DRC (85)
25. Indonesia (79)
26. Thailand (66)
*Kosovo are currently ahead of Curacao as they scored higher with the juries of participating countries.
We now what happens now, and how it works.
Thailand. After the public votes have been counted, they have decided to award you… 21 points.
Indonesia. You have received… 28 points.
Zaire/DRC. The public have given you… 35 points.
Tahiti. You got… 15 points.
Jamaica. The public have given you… 46 points.
Aruba. You are getting… 95 points.
St. Lucia. The audiences have awarded you… 41 points.
Cuba. You have received, from the public vote…
*pauses for around five seconds*
… 143 points!!! Chanel moves into the top half.
Cape Verde. The people at home have awarded you… 32 points.
Kosovo. You are getting… 54 points.
Curacao. You received… 81 points.
South Korea. The audiences have given you… 54 points.
Suriname. The public have given you… 95 points. They move up to sixth.
Burkina Faso. You receive… 31 points.
Lebanon. The public are giving you… 71 points.
Kyrgyzstan. The audiences at home have decided that you shall receive…
*pauses for around five seconds*
… 101 points!! Putting them sixth.
We now move into the top ten.
Nigeria. You are going to get…
*pauses for around five seconds*
… 101 points!!
No mistake here – just a complete co-incidence that consecutive songs received the exact same number of points. And guess what? They’ve also gone sixth.
Guadeloupe. It’s time for you to receive…
*pauses for around eight seconds*
… 215 points!!! They are now fifth.
Big cheers from the small group of Guadeloupian fans in the crowd. Joelle and her male dancers all cheer and hug – despite knowing that it probably won’t end in a victory.
Iran. You have received… 97 points. They move into the top five.
Malaysia. You are getting… 89 points. Guy is now guaranteed a top ten finish.
All eyes on Katrina now.
USA. The public have given you…
*pauses for around eight seconds*
… 184 points!!!
Falling three points short, his won’t find her delighted, though she still thanks the audience.
We now move into the top five.
Tunisia. The audience have given you…
*pauses for around five seconds*
… 73 points. Now in second place, she can no longer win.
Egypt. The public have decided to award you with…
*pauses for around ten seconds*
… 200 points!!!
Becoming the first country to cross the 500-point barrier, they now lead, although it’s unlikely they will go on to win. Mahmood still punches the air and blows a kiss.
Into the top three. Algeria. The public have awarded you with…
*pauses for around ten seconds*
… 116 points!! Slimane will finish second or third.
His chances may have ended in similar fashion to how they did in Malmo, but he still salutes the viewers with a humble “merci”.
It’s Sir Cliff’s turn now.
India. You will receive, from the public vote…
*pauses for around ten seconds*
… 214 points!!! Sir Cliff now leads the way, and whilst it’s too early to be congratulating him, he has become the first contestant to cross the 600-point barrier.
And finally. It’s a Mexican stand-off between Sir Cliff and Celine, with the Canadian needing to score a minimum of 157 points to win.
It is time. The standard two-way split-screen appears. Celine looks apprehensive, holding hands with her backing band and singers.
Canada. The audiences at home have decided – crucially – that you shall receive…
*pauses for around 15 seconds*
… 247 points!!!!
Was there ever any doubt? Celine Dion celebrates with her entourage, and will take home her second song contest trophy. But first, of course, she must make her way to the stage to reprise her double-winning entry.
And so, this is how they finish:
- Canada (703)
- India (612)
- Algeria (544)
- Egypt (513)
- Tunisia (464)
- USA (453)
- Malaysia (392)
- Iran (363)
- Guadeloupe (362)
- Nigeria (343)
- Kyrgyzstan (340)
- Lebanon (325)
- Burkina Faso (322)
- Suriname (318)
- South Korea (310)
- Curacao (291)
- Kosovo (264)
- Cape Verde (247)
- Cuba (240)
- Saint Lucia (223)
- Aruba (220)
- Jamaica (187)
- Tahiti (133)
- Zaire/DRC (120)
- Indonesia (107)
- Thailand (87)
Here’s the televote table in order, incase you’re interested (I’m sure you’re just dying to know):
- Canada (247)
- Guadeloupe (215)
- India (214)
- Egypt (200)
- USA (184)
- Cuba (143)
- Algeria (116)
- Kyrgyzstan (101)*
- Nigeria (101)*
- Iran (97)
- Suriname (95)*
- Aruba (95)*
- Malaysia (89)
- Curacao (81)
- Tunisia (73)
- Lebanon (71)
- Kosovo (54)*
- South Korea (54)*
- Jamaica (46)
- St. Lucia (41)
- Zaire (35)
- Cape Verde (32)
- Burkina Faso (31)
- Indonesia (28)
- Thailand (21)
- Tahiti (15)
*Kyrgyzstan finish ahead of Nigeria – scoring douze three times, Destiny only scored one.
*Suriname finish ahead of Aruba as they scored a douze points, whereas Tanel & Dave did not.
*Kosovo finish ahead of South Korea due to scoring seven twice compared to Dami’s once. They both had the same number of 12, 10 and 8 points.
Was I shocked at any of the results? Well, Guadeloupe being rewarded so highly with the public – contrasted by Tunisia and Burkina Faso so scantily – took me by surprise a bit. In the non-participant vote (primarily based on each entrants’ number of social media followers, incase you were wondering), Iran’s success, along with Katrina’s capitulation, would not have been expected by many.
The jury votes went mostly as I predicted; the only surprising thing is that scores across the board were generally so low; though perhaps the diverse range of styles, with regional ties often coming into play, would go some way towards explaining this. Considering 43 countries is more than most who enter at Eurovision these days, Celine’s combined score of 703 points is interestingly low – when you bear in mind there were over a thousand points available, even without the non-participant vote! She was the only entrant who scored close to 200 with the juries, and was also the only entrant close to 250 with the public. Securing a hat-trick of victories, her 260 from the non-participants proved her highest of the three scores.
And for those of you who prefer the 2016-18 system, whereby the televote results are announced in order of where the public placed them, rather than where the juries did, here’s how it would have gone:
Thailand are doomed to last place pretty quickly, while Burkina Faso’s chances are ended early on. Tunisia’s hopes are also dashed just before the halfway point. Chanel’s drastically improved televote score is only enough to see her move into lower mid-table. Katrina’s hopes are ended soon after, followed by Mahmood’s, and then Sir Cliff’s (a little less heartbreakingly though, for once). It’s now almost certainly going to be a Canadian victory, with Guadeloupe – despite being able to take pride in a fantastic televote result – still needing a huge margin. They are of course announced in second and we know the rest.
Well, that’s about everything. But what do you think? Do you agree with the results, or most of them? Is there anyone I’ve forgotten about? And do you think I should do another one in the future? Please let me know in the comments, like/subscribe etc, and if you’re feeling really generous, I wouldn’t mind a share on one of your socials. Anyway, thank you all for reading. Ciao for now, Eurofans!
